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  #1  
Old 11-20-2006, 11:41 AM
tinku tinku is offline
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Default Cool Definitions

Cool Definitions

:Father: A banker provided by nature.

:Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

:Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

:Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.

ictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

:College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

:Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

:Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

:Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

:Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

:Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

:Marriage: It is an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree and woman gains her master's.

:Worry: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

:Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

:Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

:Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

:Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken off when dead.

iplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

:Optimist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

:Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in the word OPPORTUNITY

:Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

:Criminal: A guy no different from the rest of us .... except that he got caught.

:Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and shakes your confidence after.

octor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills
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  #2  
Old 11-20-2006, 11:45 AM
tinku tinku is offline
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A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."
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  #3  
Old 03-12-2007, 08:30 AM
SUNSHINE SUNSHINE is offline
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Good Joke/definitions.
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